My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
