He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
