i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
