I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
