I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
