i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
