I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
