I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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