Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
