i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
