And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize