I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
