If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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