he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
