i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
