During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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