so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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