It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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