He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
