I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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