Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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