Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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