yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
