I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize