tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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