But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
