She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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