I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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