There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
