I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
