no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
