All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
