Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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