Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
