Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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