i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
