Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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