All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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