she was so not down for the gang bang
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
