I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
