If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
