why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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