You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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