I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
