I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
