You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
