It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
