I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I didn't notice because vodka
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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