I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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