well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
