I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just had sex bonerless
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
