Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want to make a zoo with you.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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