I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
