I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
