apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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