Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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