OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
