I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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