Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
