alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Text me some of your sweat
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize